A weight defining moment

I have had many defining moments in my life. I will probably share most of them on this blogging adventure. The defining moment that sparked the initiation of this blog happened last night at bedtime. I was getting ready to read a Little House on the Prairie book to my six year old. Instead of reading in my bed as is the norm, I told her we would read in her new bed. I cuddled up next to year in the warmth and joy of the moment, excited to be with her reading this American Classic. I thought that she must also be feeling the same way. However, when I looked into her big brown eyes, I could see serious distress. I asked her what was wrong. Her answer was my current defining moment. "I am really nervous that you are going to break my brand new bed, Mama."

Crushed is not even the appropriate word for what I felt at that moment. My six year old could not see past the fat on my body to enjoy a time of snuggling and reading. That moment, those words, will forever be tattooed on my "Mommy Memory" section of my brain. Yes, I have all the excuses in the book: I just had a baby only six months ago, my baby doesn't sleep EVER (so I sleep whenever I have 5 minutes), I home school (no time for exercise), I'm in my 40's now (too hard too lose weight at my age), my husband is deploying soon so I am stressed out....blah, blah, blah...

However, my daughter doesn't care about those excuses, all she sees and will remember is a fat, tired mom ( I was going to put lazy, but I realized I was being a little harsh on myself).

So this is it, today, November 18 2008, starts a new weight loss journey for me. I have had other weight loss journeys in the past (most successful...more about that in another post)... I have chosen to blog my journey for myself. This is not going to be exciting by any means for a reader. So no negative, mean comments please! This is just my journey, my daily food intake and exercise logs. I can't afford to join Weight Watchers right now, so I am blogging my weight off. I used to go to W.W. and did GREAT! I really need to have someone to keep me accountable. I figure a blog will keep me accountable to someone out there in cyberspace. If you have any motivational insights or story to share similar to mine as we go along our happy blogging trail, please let me know. I would love to hear from you.

So that's it for now...Today I am starting my blogging diet topping the scale at 205 lbs, 5 feet 8 inches....I was 135 when I got pregnant for my six year old and 172 when I got pregnant for my 6 month old. My goal weight right now is 155. That is 50 lbs. Here goes....